How To Not Let Your Friend’s Differences Drive You Crazy

Kathy: Your friend is not you, and you are not your friend. Duh! It seems that more often than not opposites attract. Who knows why that is? One theory is that the strengths evident in one person compliment the weaknesses in the other (if they don’t drive you nuts first!).

I am sooooo different from Linda. She is so strong in the areas I’m not: she’s neat, scheduled, and logical just to name a few. She knows how to stand her ground with rationale and accuracy. While I admire all of those amazing characteristics about her, at times they try to drive me crazy. Understandably, feeling irritated about the things that are her strengths is not very wise on my part.

I, on the other hand, am a little (maybe a lot) freer in these areas. I’m more sensing and feeling and easier to let things get a little messy. Flexibility is important to me, I’m people smart, and at times the way I function in life may not look or seem all that logical to her. That can drive her crazy, especially when it comes to working together on writing projects.

Through the help of many different assessment tools, we have both come to know each other and ourselves so much better. Understanding one another and why we behave the way we do has helped us deal with each others differences rather than drive us crazy (most of the time).

We purpose to negotiate through the difference so they don’t drive us apart. For example, I am so grateful when something that has been scheduled can be changed without it becoming such a big deal to her. For her, she appreciates it when I keep the planned schedules and not make last minute changes. How in the world do two worlds come together without colliding?

1. Understanding that neither one of us is trying to be hurtful to the other.

2. Understand what feels like a weakness could actually be your friend’s strength.

Don’t try to fix your friend or change them to be more like you. Let them be fully who they are and enjoy the differences each friend brings to the friendship.


~ by thefriendshipdoctors on August 8, 2011.

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