Who do you spill to?

Who do you spill to?

Who do YOU talk to when you have a rough day at work? For that matter, who really cares that you’ve had a rough day at work?! Do you have someone who gives a rip? Have you a pal who will celebrate your promotion like it was their own?

Experts say it is good for the soul to spill your guts to someone – but it’s the wise who are careful about who they spill to. Spilling isn’t just about tough stuff; it could also be about sharing the good stuff. It would be pretty foolish to unload on someone who doesn’t know what to do with your stuff.

If your’re gonna tell somebody what’s going on, make sure it’s someone who’s trustworthy enough to handle with care the details of your life. Information – good or bad, is dear and precious. So give it to someone who will handle it like a delicate package.

Look for these characteristics in someone you would spill your guts to. They need to:
1. Know how to listen.
2. Not repeat what they hear.
3. Handle tough news without having a meltdown.
4. Accept what you’re sharing without judgment.

I was just thinking how sad it would be if something super wonderful happened to me and I had no one to talk to about it or share in the excitement. I am grateful that I have someone in my life to share all my dear and precious info with. This is another valuable benefit of having a lifetime friend. Linda knows me, understands me, and considers my needs of the moment. There have been times when my heart has been heavy and she kept it lifted and beating just by listening. I trust her to safely hold what I’ve shared. On the other end of the spectrum she’s happy for me when cool stuff is coming my way. How fun is that!


I usually have a chance to fill Kathy in on what’s going on in my world every day.  But recently I hadn’t seen my buddy for a few days. Not normal for us to be out of touch that long, but I was deep in the forest with no phone connection camping and “jeeping” with my family and some friends. We had some really cool adventures out there and I couldn’t wait to come home and share them with her. The first chance we had to reconnect we were talking non stop about details of my trip and I wanted details about her whole weekend. “Give me the long version, not just a summary. Don’t just fill me in on what you did yesterday, tell me about the day before AND the day before that!” Silly you say? No, cause I want to be a part of her world and she wants to be part of mine. Quite cool to have someone to share the stories of our lives with, but too, remember this…
Friend Coaching Tip: If you are going to spill your stuff to a friend, make sure it’s someone who will handle it like a delicate package. Spill it – yes! But…be careful who you spill it to.


~ by thefriendshipdoctors on May 13, 2010.

One Response to “Who do you spill to?”

  1. Awesome advice!

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